Lena Dunham is celebrating everything her body has accomplished in the nine months since having a hysterectomy to end her endometriosis pain.
The writer and actress, 32, shared three nude photos to commemorate the anniversary of her surgery. She specifically picked the nine-month mark because it’s how long she would have carried a child, if she still could.
“I’ve never celebrated the 9 month anniversary of anything and I realized last night why that number feels so funny — I won’t ever do it the way I planned to,” Dunham wrote on Instagram.
The Camping creator said that she’s feeling stronger physically but continues to work through the mental battles.
“My body is mostly healed and every day I find a new bruise on my heart, but today I offer myself gratitude: from the most pained place, I somehow knew to choose myself,” she wrote. “The purest glint of who we are and know we can be is always available to us, calm and true at our center.”
Dunham also revealed the nickname she gave her now-departed uterus.
“My friend Paul named my uterus Judy, and when she was being uppity we called her out, hence the tattoo on my ribs, which hurt like f— even through the pain meds: #RIPJudy. Today I give thanks for Judy, for her graceful exit and for this body, which is stronger than I’ve ever given it credit for,” she said. “Happy Giving Birth To Myself Day.”
RELATED VIDEO: Lena Dunham Had a Full Hysterectomy to Remove Her Uterus and Cervix and End Endometriosis Pain
“I gave up on more treatment. I gave up on more pain. I gave up on more uncertainty,” she said.
After the procedure, doctors told Dunham that her uterus “is worse than anyone could have imagined.”
And the toughest part of electing to undergo a hysterectomy, she wrote, was coming to terms with her inability to carry a baby. Dunham said she’ll instead explore an egg retrieval so a surrogate could gestate a baby, or adoption.
“I wanted that stomach. I wanted to know what nine months of complete togetherness could feel like,” she said. “I was meant for the job, but I didn’t pass the interview. And that’s OK. It really is. I might not believe it now, but I will soon enough … I may have felt choiceless before, but I know I have choices now.”